5-12-11
Although I enjoy a challenge I was looking forward to less waves due to decreased boat activity during the weekdays. Josh and I discussed a couple different courses and decided we'd walk out from Silver Sands Beach and start from the eastern buoy and swim to Black Rock and back, roughly 2 miles. We had a lot of family support as usual come out; Our parents, Grandma, Sister and Brother-In-Law...and of course it wouldn't be a party without the 3 little nephews Harrison, Owen, and Cole. Josh and I were happy to see Jodi carrying a bag with her and got excited that she would be getting in. Unfortunately the bag that we thought had her swim gear in it was just the treat the bag to keep the little boys happy. Maybe next time.
After a few minutes talking with family and playing with the nephews I really started feeling weak and fatigued and wondered if I would be up to swimming. I did some stretches and headed down to the beach and walked around in the water to cool down a little. Josh joined shortly after and we headed for the starting buoy.
There was a few cold spots going out to the buoy but other than that the water felt great. When we reached our starting point I told Josh I'd just take off while he made final adjustments to his gps knowing he's a stronger swimmer and would catch up shortly. My fatigue and weakness disappeared as soon as I started which gave me a lot of confidence. I put focus on not stopping and to just keep a pace and push through the pain when my shoulders got tired. One of the best helps that I have learned from reading about Lynne Cox is being able to mentally force yourself to keep going through pain knowing that after you break through the barrier it becomes easier and get sort of a second wind.
I'm sure Josh was holding back but I was able to stay close to him for about half the distance out. Every now and then I would take wider strokes for 50 yards or so to try and reduce chaffing. About 3/4 of the way to Black Rock my head began hurting and put a crack in my confidence. I decided to take my goggles off and that immediately got rid of the pain and my confidence was patched. I caught up to Josh and we talked for a few minutes before turning back.
On the second leg we were swimming against the current but were making good time. When I got halfway or slightly farther back my headache returned and really started to wear me down mentally. I took off my goggles again but that didn't do any good and I couldn't take my cap off because of my gps that was underneath. I only swam with a good stroke a couple hundred yards after that and the rest I did breaststroke or swam head up.
The marina was getting closer and closer and was looking very appealing to cut in there and be done instead of going the extra 1/4 mile back to the beach. When I reached the mouth of the marina I made the decision to end early knowing that I wasn't losing much distance and felt like I had fought pretty well to this point. If I can just push a little farther with the pain and build a stronger tolerance I will reach my goal. After Deercreek I felt that a 5k wasn't gonna be possible but on this swim I was able to hold on for almost an extra mile. I feel that the goal is just out of reach but am confident that I will grab it soon.
I was a little sad to see 2.3 miles on my GPS but I wasn't mad about it. When I got home and took a look at the readings from my Garmin and compared it to the last swim there was definite improvement. My pace per mile was higher and more steady than the previous swim. I also set a new personal record for open water distance this season and for my lifetime. I found out from my Grandma that she was worried because we swam out of her eye site and didn't get back soon enough. Guess I gotta get faster!
I'm sure the first words out of the Dr.'s mouth when I was born weren't "It's a swimmer!", nevertheless that was life's ultimate plan for the years ahead. All growing up we spent summers in our grandma's pool and for a lot of us Gram would be our first coach. With my brother and sister along with cousins we would learn basic technique and the water became our second home. 'Reunions' were weekly if not daily. Swimming was my first love but sometimes life forces us to give up the things we love. At the age of 3 I was diagnosed with Chronic Renal Failure, more specifically Prune Belly; A kidney disease effecting 1 in 40,000. Attacking the immune system, reducing energy, and holding kidney function at 12-14% getting out of bed in the morning is nothing short of a miracle and everyday truely a blessing. When I was a Jr. in high school my swimming times began to slip and at first I didn't pay it much attention but I soon realized I was headed down a difficult road, a road that only went in one direction. Physically I didn't feel any different and for the next several weeks I wrestled with myself as I practiced. "Should I stay? Is it worth it anymore? What about the team?" Failure was knocking at my door and threatening what I loved. Without my hand on the knob the door opened and passion died. There was a moment standing waist deep in the water inbetween sets, everything slowed down and reality settled in my heart and sank to the bottom of the pool. Failure was not a choice but something I had to accept...or so I thought. For years after quiting the team I was bitter and angry, I didn't want to swim or even hear about swimming. I dont think my family understood where I was and quite frankly neither did I. Part of me died when I left and for those who have had a broken heart for whatever reason understand what I mean. Somewhere along the way my brother started to dabble in triathlons and other athletic events, soon my sister joined and before I knew it I had been sucked in as well. Emersed in a new journey, high school was in the past and another chapter in life was starting. Bitterness melted away and anger faded. "If you love something, set it free..." I don't recall who originally said this but for me this came true. I had a renewed love and a refined understanding and acceptance of the past. I moved on and gained a burning desire to rise above circumstance. Before I layed down and didn't fight, life will always find ways to knock us down but we only lose when we give up or give in. I'll push through the pain, I'll kick a little longer, I'll reach a little farther...I'll swim towards redemption
Congrats on a new personal record for distance!
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