I'm sure the first words out of the Dr.'s mouth when I was born weren't "It's a swimmer!", nevertheless that was life's ultimate plan for the years ahead. All growing up we spent summers in our grandma's pool and for a lot of us Gram would be our first coach. With my brother and sister along with cousins we would learn basic technique and the water became our second home. 'Reunions' were weekly if not daily. Swimming was my first love but sometimes life forces us to give up the things we love. At the age of 3 I was diagnosed with Chronic Renal Failure, more specifically Prune Belly; A kidney disease effecting 1 in 40,000. Attacking the immune system, reducing energy, and holding kidney function at 12-14% getting out of bed in the morning is nothing short of a miracle and everyday truely a blessing. When I was a Jr. in high school my swimming times began to slip and at first I didn't pay it much attention but I soon realized I was headed down a difficult road, a road that only went in one direction. Physically I didn't feel any different and for the next several weeks I wrestled with myself as I practiced. "Should I stay? Is it worth it anymore? What about the team?" Failure was knocking at my door and threatening what I loved. Without my hand on the knob the door opened and passion died. There was a moment standing waist deep in the water inbetween sets, everything slowed down and reality settled in my heart and sank to the bottom of the pool. Failure was not a choice but something I had to accept...or so I thought. For years after quiting the team I was bitter and angry, I didn't want to swim or even hear about swimming. I dont think my family understood where I was and quite frankly neither did I. Part of me died when I left and for those who have had a broken heart for whatever reason understand what I mean. Somewhere along the way my brother started to dabble in triathlons and other athletic events, soon my sister joined and before I knew it I had been sucked in as well. Emersed in a new journey, high school was in the past and another chapter in life was starting. Bitterness melted away and anger faded. "If you love something, set it free..." I don't recall who originally said this but for me this came true. I had a renewed love and a refined understanding and acceptance of the past. I moved on and gained a burning desire to rise above circumstance. Before I layed down and didn't fight, life will always find ways to knock us down but we only lose when we give up or give in. I'll push through the pain, I'll kick a little longer, I'll reach a little farther...I'll swim towards redemption

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Cold Record

                                                                                                   11-23-11

     This week the Wasatch Front Polar Bear Club headed out for a Thanksgiving swim at the Great Salt Lake.  I met Josh, Gordon, and Goody around 4:15 at the Marina, a little earlier so we had some daylight left for our swim.

     Gordon went in first and did two laps to the mouth of the Marina and back, about 700 yards.  Goody got in next and did one lap of the same for about 350 yards.  The third swimmer was Josh who did the same as Gordon, 700 yards.  Then it was my turn.

     We took turns swimming as an extra safety precaution so going last I was already cold before getting in.  I wanted to have a good swim but I was having doubts about how much I'd be able to do, and watching the first 3 members walk down the ramp and non-chalantly wade into was intimidating.

     When I made my way into the water I was surprised at how 'easy' it was.  It was cold but bearable and I didn't have any problems with hyperventilating which I think is a first for me.  When I started to swim it was a different sensation than I've had in the past.  I didn't have that strange sort of comfort in the cold that I've experienced last year and so far this year in cold water.  This time my body stung and was uncomfortable, but somehow I managed to stay in and set a new personal record for distance in 49 degrees with .16 miles(300 yards).

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Like the sweatshirt says: "Grin and bear it"

                                                                                                    10-25-11

     It's easy to talk a big game when the water temp is still in the 60's, but when it dips below and the outside temp is 50...well the tune has a different chorus.

     Luckily I have an awesome brother that made time to come out a couple days early so I didn't miss out on a swim this week.  We met at Bountiful Lake around 5:30 and stepping out of our cars we instantly knew it was gonna be a cold swim.

     After setting up our gear on the east pier we were already getting kinda chilly just standing there so we did a few laps around the area to generate some heat and warm up.  We headed back to look at the thermometer that Josh had put in the water a few minutes before to see what we'd be up against this week.  Josh looked up at me and all he said was: "We are dead."  Encouraging right?

     This is what we've been waiting for, the temp to drop below 60 and bring on the cold, and with a reading of 57 we got our wish tonight.  After having done this at the end of this past winter we knew how that would feel and contemplated the course to take.  We decided on just a short swim out to the South pier and back to the East.  Josh dove in and after a few strokes I jumped in after him.  Like always there was the initial shock to the body and some tingling on the skin but really didn't feel too bad.

     When I caught up with Josh we both quickly said we felt good and wanted to keep going.  From the South pier we headed toward the island and then made our way back to the East pier where we started. I thought that for sure today I wouldn't be able to keep my head in the water but to my great surprise I was able to.  The only thing that bothered me was after awhile my muscles got tight and I felt like I really had to use a lot of effort to make any distance.

     In Lynne Cox's new book Josh told me about how she talks about going for a little jog after one of her freezing swims and said that it really helped in warming her up.  So when we pulled ourselves out of the water and got dressed we did a quick jog and I gotta admit even with the short distance today of 1/4 mile I could tell a difference with adding the jog and think I will continue that.

     It was another great swim and I am so excited that it's getting colder and look forward to seeing what I can do this year!

Thursday, October 20, 2011

You're Getting In There...On purpose?

                                                                                              10-20-11

     Tonight was our second meeting for WFPBC.  Walking along the path to the East Pier there were a pair of couples walking toward the parking lot and asked me: "You're getting in there?" with the second couple following up with: "On purpose?"  Well...Heck yes I'm getting in there!

     For me week 2 was filled with more anticipation after a somewhat disappointing temp from week 1.  Although it wasn't a significant drop, just 2 degrees (63 to 61), it was a good sign that it's getting colder.  Gords dove in off the East Pier while Josh and I jumped in after.  The initial plan was to swim to the West Pier and back but when we got there the three of us felt pretty good and made a course change around the island and back to the East Pier.

     My headaches were a problem until I reached the back of the island then my head warmed up and I was able to put my head in the water and stretch out my stroke.  At about the same time I noticed the muscles in my arms were getting tight and was taking more effort to swim.  I wondered the rest of the way if the cause was me being out of shape or if it was the cool sinking into them.  Since it was just a half mile I figured it was both but more of the water. 

     Getting out of the water I felt great and I don't think anyone was shaking.  It was another great week and continue to look forward to new challenges.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Wasatch Front Polar Bear Club

                                                                                                      10-13-11

     Today was the first swim for the new Wasatch Polar Bear Club.  With the cooler weather the last couple weeks I've been getting excited for cold water season.

     Josh, Gordon and I met at Saltair and headed out to Black Rock in Josh's car.  It was a nice clear day and close to 70 degrees.  When we were walking in the water it was cool but not cold.  I think the temp we ended up with was 63.  So although it's not 'Polar' yet it was still a great chance for a swim.

     The water was the clearest I've ever seen it at the Great Salt Lake and was awesome.  I also pulled out my SSD to try out tonight for the first time...I forgot to get it out at La Jolla.  I'd heard Josh and others talk about not noticing it behind you when swimming but I still wondered if it would be an annoyance.  Thankfully like the others I didn't notice it in fact I forgot that I even had it with me.  Before we turned back to head for shore we layed back and relaxed in the water for a few minutes and I learned just by chance that you can lay your head on the SSD like a pillow and the strap will support your back so it's like a bed, it was really comfy and fun.

     Although the water was in the 60's the plates in my head got cold and gave me a headache for the first few minutes but was able to warm up and felt great.  The only bad thing is that the salt let me know that my lips were a little dry because they were stinging the whole swim but still had fun.  I was also worried about my shoulder because it had been hurting for a few days but after being home from the swim it feels like its back to normal.  Guess my new medicine is swimming therapy :)

La Jolla Cove

                                                                                         9-20-11

     While the nephews were excited to go to Legoland, I was trying my best to be patient waiting for La Jolla Cove...And it did not disappoint!!!

     At Alcatraz the signs warned against Sea Lions, at La Jolla cautions plastered the rails lining the walkway about  dangerous riptides.  The whole family played on the beach for a few minutes and the signs were right, the riptide would pull your legs out and drag you into the deep blue if you didn't pay attention.  I'd never felt anything like that before it.  After hanging out on shore and playing Josh and I couldn't wait any longer and headed into the water.  While wading in the cove Josh brought up an interesting point about the salt content.  He wondered if we'd even be able to notice it after spending the summer swimming in the Great Salt Lake.  I hadn't even thought about that and after swimming a few yards I noticed that the taste was missing and had to lick my lips to make sure the ocean still had salt in it.

     Leaving the cove we swam above the local fish population which was both exciting and eerie.  Even tho they were just small fish it's visual proof that you are out of your environment and in someone else's.  Out in the open the plant life kept sneaking up on me when I would take a breath.  Rolling my head and putting my face back in the water I'd be surprised by kelp right in front of me and then be swimming over the top of the slimy and sometimes even pokey plant.  We also had a few seagulls dive bombing us on the way to the buoy that we got a kick out of.

     Even tho I'd been away from swimming for a few months before getting in I was feeling great and when we were a couple hundred yards from reaching shore I lifted my head up and to my right there a couple Sea Lions playing about ten feet away from me!  It was pretty awesome but I gotta admit it kind of freaked me out being that close and I headed back in a quicker pace.

     We did about a half mile round trip and had a blast.  I'm so happy I finally made it to La Jolla and hope to get back there for a race.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Can't be shown up by a 1 and a half year old

                                                                                                     6-16-11

   Today Josh was bringing out the paddle board he has on loan to try out at Bountiful Pond.  My parents and grandma and I met Josh and his wife and kids at 6 with no intention of getting in and swimming due to the change in weather an hour before.  And that was just with the weather in mind.  We didn't find out until we got there that the water temp was 53! All that melting snow was really having an effect.

   Josh, Sabrina, my dad, Josh's buddy that came from Sandy, and myself all tried the board and had a blast.  I'd really like to rent one on a day that the weather is better and spend a few hours on the water.

   I got on for a second go at it and headed toward the canal where the water was emptying into the pond.  Josh had just tried and got past the walkway that goes across but the current was too strong and was at a stand still after that.

  Unfortunately I was too far left where the strength of the current was at its worst and flipped over.  Never had a chance.  Falling in right at the mouth where the new water was coming in was quite a shock but I was able to recover pretty quick and toss my arms over the board and kick back to shore.

   15 minutes or so before my little nephew had taken a dive in the water, so not wanting to be out done by a one-and-a-half year old and having just fallen in myself I decided I might as well go swimming.

   I got in and did a few yards while Josh and my dad put the paddle board back on Josh's car.  The water around the ramp was actually pretty warm and going out into the open it didn't feel too bad.  When I got out I asked Josh if he was gonna get in.  He is always up for anything so he got ready and I got back in with him.  Again the water getting in felt good but this time it seemed to be a little more chilly when we got out in the open.

   I didn't bring my GPS because I wasn't planning on swimming so I'm not sure how far I went total but I would guess between 35-50 yards.  I had a great time tonight and after doing a couple short cold water swims I remembered how fun it is and a part of me misses that.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Great Salt Lake Open Water Swim Marathon

                                                                                                   6-11-11

   Josh and Gordon put on an awesome race this afternoon that was a huge success.  I had the opportunity to volunteer as kayak support/photo taker and had a great time.

   There were several out of state swimmers that came just to participate which I thought was pretty cool.  I consider my a swimmer although I may not be the strongest so my favorite part was just the chance to spend yesterday and today chatting and hanging out with all these amazing swimmers.

   Everyone that checked in and started finished both distances.  There were 11 for the 8 mile swim and 25 for the mile.  The only bad thing of the day on my part was spacing putting sunscreen on my ears so they are like crispy bacon...although not nearly as tasty I'm sure.

   Again my hats off to all of the awesome swimmers accepting the challenge and being so strong.  Also to all the help by the harbor master and volunteers and other sponsors that played big rolls in helping Josh and Gordon getting this swim back up and hopefully going for years to come.   Lets make some new legends!  Good job everybody!

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Great Salt Lake Open Water Marathon Swim Course Test

                                                                                                 6-4-11

   It's been so long let's see if I can remember what a post is.  I was happy when Josh asked me to head out to GSL tonight and do a double check on the 1 mile distance for the race that Josh and Gordon are putting on Saturday the 11th.

   As usual the water felt chilly walking in from the boat ramp but immediately felt great after a couple strokes.  Since I haven't been swimming for a few weeks my shoulders and arms got sore pretty early but pushed past it after a couple hundred yards and felt good the rest of the way.

   It's always interesting to try and notice the differences in each swim.  Tonight I didn't notice swimming through any cold or warm spots, just a constant temp the whole mile.  I have also been able in the past to do a good job of keeping the salt out of my mouth except for being blind-sided by a wave once in a while.  After this swim I didn't have any salt taste in my mouth and just a faint taste when I licked my lips.  And besides the last swim this swim I didn't have any chaffing under my armpits---which I definitely won't complain about.

   As I got closer to Black Rock I was able to notice a few cars when I sighted every few strokes and there were people standing around the edge but I couldn't tell what they were doing.  When I reached shallow water and began to walk the last few yards to shore I noticed that the people standing around the site was a group of young girls and they were clapping.  After I caught up to Josh the group started to chat with us.  Turns out they were a Girl Scout group and had seen us swimming and watched us come in.  It always makes us laugh that people are so shocked to see us out there.  A couple girls came down the bank and were pretty interested with the bright hats we had with us, and Josh explained that they were a latex swim cap that make it easy for boats and other people to see us.  One of the girls even asked me for a high five which I gotta admit made me feel pretty special.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Black Rock

                                                                                                5-12-11

       Although I enjoy a challenge I was looking forward to less waves due to decreased boat activity during the weekdays.  Josh and I discussed a couple different courses and decided we'd walk out from Silver Sands Beach and start from the eastern buoy and swim to Black Rock and back, roughly 2 miles.  We had a lot of family support as usual come out; Our parents, Grandma, Sister and Brother-In-Law...and of course it wouldn't be a party without the 3 little nephews Harrison, Owen, and Cole.  Josh and I were happy to see Jodi carrying a bag with her and got excited that she would be getting in.  Unfortunately the bag that we thought had her swim gear in it was just the treat the bag to keep the little boys happy.  Maybe next time.

       After a few minutes talking with family and playing with the nephews I really started feeling weak and fatigued and wondered if I would be up to swimming.  I did some stretches and headed down to the beach and walked around in the water to cool down a little.  Josh joined shortly after and we headed for the starting buoy.

       There was a few cold spots going out to the buoy but other than that the water felt great.  When we reached our starting point I told Josh I'd just take off while he made final adjustments to his gps knowing he's a stronger swimmer and would catch up shortly.  My fatigue and weakness disappeared as soon as I started which gave me a lot of confidence.  I put focus on not stopping and to just keep a pace and push through the pain when my shoulders got tired.  One of the best helps that I have learned from reading about Lynne Cox is being able to mentally force yourself to keep going through pain knowing that after you break through the barrier it becomes easier and get sort of a second wind.

       I'm sure Josh was holding back but I was able to stay close to him for about half the distance out.  Every now and then I would take wider strokes for 50 yards or so to try and reduce chaffing.  About 3/4 of the way to Black Rock my head began hurting and put a crack in my confidence.  I decided to take my goggles off and that immediately got rid of the pain and my confidence was patched.  I caught up to Josh and we talked for a few minutes before turning back.

       On the second leg we were swimming against the current but were making good time.  When I got halfway or slightly farther back my headache returned and really started to wear me down mentally.  I took off my goggles again but that didn't do any good and I couldn't take my cap off because of my gps that was underneath.  I only swam with a good stroke a couple hundred yards after that and the rest I did breaststroke or swam head up.

       The marina was getting closer and closer and was looking very appealing to cut in there and be done instead of going the extra 1/4 mile back to the beach.  When I reached the mouth of the marina I made the decision to end early knowing that I wasn't losing much distance and felt like I had fought pretty well to this point.  If I can just push a little farther with the pain and build a stronger tolerance I will reach my goal.  After Deercreek I felt that a 5k wasn't gonna be possible but on this swim I was able to hold on for almost an extra mile.  I feel that the goal is just out of reach but am confident that I will grab it soon.

       I was a little sad to see 2.3 miles on my GPS but I wasn't mad about it.  When I got home and took a look at the readings from my Garmin and compared it to the last swim there was definite improvement.  My pace per mile was higher and more steady than the previous swim.  I also set a new personal record for open water distance this season and for my lifetime.  I found out from my Grandma that she was worried because we swam out of her eye site and didn't get back soon enough.  Guess I gotta get faster!

      

     

Sunday, May 8, 2011

'Misguided'

                                                                                           5-7-11

Using my last swim course as a guide and tweaking it a bit I was planning on 3 miles and depending on how I felt maybe hit 4.  I was happy to finally talk my dad into getting in and swimming with me, it was a nice day out and didn't notice much wind.  There were quit a few cars in the parking lot which was a great surprise even though they were there for boating and not to swim.  I noticed the water level had risen a couple feet and when my dad and I walked in it may have been me but it seemed a little colder than before but still felt good.  A couple strokes into the swim the water was feeling great and I was ready for a long swim.  When I reached the mouth of the marina and into the open water the waves began their plans to foil my goal.  They weren't too big but big enough that it was gonna be a tougher workout.  On my way to the first buoy I could feel my Gatorade Prime that I had shoved up the leg of my suit moving around and I began to doubt that it would stay in until I wanted it.  Heading east to begin the first lap I could feel the waves pushing me towards shore and had to correct my path a few times but made pretty good time.  Reaching the third buoy the plan was to head further away from shore to the red buoy.  I figured that they were red for a reason and that I wasn't supposed to swim out there but threw the rules out and went for it anyway.  On the second lap I heard the people standing on the look out yelling "Swimmer! Swimmer!!!"  I stopped and looked around trying to figure out what was going on and other than a boat that I had gone by me a couple times and I was keeping an eye on I didn't notice anything wrong so I kept swimming.  On the home stretch of the second lap I waded in the water and got out the Prime I brought with me to help with the dry mouth caused by salt.  With the first shot the contrast between the dryness of the salt and the wet sweetness I gagged, spit it out, and dry heaved but managed to get the rest down.  About halfway back from the second lap I started to get worn down and even a little frustrated at times with the waves and began debating whether I'd do a third or fourth lap, and knowing how upset I would be with myself I settled on doing a half lap and finishing at Silver Sands Beach.  Knowing that I was on my final leg it gave me extra adrenaline and it went by pretty quick.  Taking my Garmin GPS out of my swim cap it read 1.6 miles...needless to say I was upset and pretty disappointed with myself.  I knew by my estimation it wouldn't be 3 miles which was bad enough but cutting the third lap in half I was planning on seeing just over 2 miles so I ended up about a half mile of what I thought.  The thing that made it the worst was before the swim I told my parents that they were gonna see a new Jake record for distance.  I know they weren't disappointed but like my dad said "He's never  happy" and he is right as long as I don't hit at least a 5k.  When I got home I realized that my estimations were right but as part of my laps I didn't swim back into the marina or add something else to keep that lost distance.  I believe in being hard on myself but also finding good things to look at, so to end on a happy note the 1.6 miles was double the distance of my last swim and the furthest I have gone so far this year.  My pace was also pretty good right around 2 mph.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

200 Yards Short

                                                                                             5-4-11

It's no longer a cold water group with the temp at 60 on Wednesday.  It was a great day for swimming and I was really looking forward to going back to the Great Salt Lake, I think it may be my new favorite place to swim (when the ocean isn't an option).  Unfortunately I was late so I got there as Josh, Gordon, and Goody were finishing their swim, but I got to chat with Brad from the State Parks who was there taking pictures of the swimmers.  I'm excited to get to volunteer for Josh's swim he has put together this summer and it's great to see how much support and excitement the State Parks are giving him.  I did the course that the rest of the group did except I went in reverse, starting at the ramp.  Just a few seconds in and the water was great.  My goal was to do at least a mile and to not stop as much.  Leaving the marina a boat passed on my left and I had the pleasure of eating gasoline for the next 25 yards or so.  Last week I was feeling really weak for some reason, but this week I felt better even though I still have a slight cold.  After I made it out of the marina and to the first green buoy I looked east to sight the third buoy and headed for it.  I'm still working on getting in shape so going out felt somewhat slow but just as enjoyable.  On the return lap I finally felt like I had a rhythm going and a steady pace to keep and the second half felt like it went by much faster.  I always felt kind of dumb because I didn't notice any currents when Josh and I swam Alcatraz in 2009, even more so because Coach Pedro had a special meeting talking about how strong they were and where to go for the best paths.  It may be that I hadn't done hardy any open water swimming because now that I have done more I have noticed being moved around both times in the Great Salt Lake.  Cutting across to return to the marina there was a slight current that I had to fight a little but luckily it didn't take much because I was kinda wearing out from the swim and my cold.  All in all it was a great swim.  I ended up at .88 miles so I was roughly 200 yards short which I was upset about but now I will know where to go next time.  I was surprised by my time again, I finished just under 29 minutes, about 14.5 each lap which is what Josh and I did last week with the wind doing most of the work for us.  As for the second half of my goal I did stop a handful of times but I think I did much better.  For my next swim I need to stuff a Gatorade Prime in my suit not necessarily for the energy but to rehydrate my mouth from all the salt drying it out.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Great Salt Lake .5 Miles

                                                                                                        4-28-11

Earlier today I wasn't sure the weather was gonna hold for our swim but it turned out pretty nice.  Luckily Josh decided to reverse the course he had planned or it would have been a tough workout fighting through the waves.  The water was in the mid 50's and felt really good.  We started at the ramp in the marina and headed east finishing at Silver Beach.  We swam against the wind to exit the marina and seemed like it took awhile but with the wind at our back the rest of the way we went pretty fast.  One of the best parts was because of the salt and the big waves I was able to pretend that I was back in the ocean. When we reached the shore Josh got a pretty nasty scrape on his elbow and I got a little one on my knee.  There was also a group of people that were there before us walking around and when they saw Josh and I getting ready they started taking pictures of us and stood with our dad and grandma and watched us do our swim.  It was a really fun swim, can't wait to go back!





Friday, April 22, 2011

.71 Miles?...Huh?

After last weeks swim I was ready to really push myself.  I was planning on 1.5 miles and was confident I could turn in a decent time.  The weather was pretty good except for a cold breeze, and I had a feeling lurking in the back of my mind that today could be 'one of those days.'  Josh's thermometer read 58 degrees and I was anxious to get in and warm up.  There is nothing worse than when you are pumped up ready to go and you take one step off the boat ramp and your foot is numb.  Josh and I looked at each other and said "That's definitely not 58."  I re thunk my game plan and decided to just repeat last weeks swim route.  The water was already cold just walking in and the path to the island got colder.  I made it to the west side ok and was feeling better than I thought I would.  I was startled when I hit something taking a stroke, it was the bottom of the pond again.  Pretty soon my stomach and legs were dragging along the bottom, I tried putting some distance between me and the island but that didn't seem to be helping so I decided to just try and get through it as fast as I could.  I couldn't take good strokes and I couldn't kick because when I did I kicked the bottom and with numb feet it really hurt.  It was a bizarre feeling being in a foot of water and not being able to swim.  I stretched my arm out in front like a normal stroke but instead of bringing it under my body I took it out to the side and brought it in. To that I added a half dolphin kick to stay away from the bottom...I can't even imagine what a fool I looked like.  I gave up on the kick all together and drug my body on the rough terrain the rest of the way.  When I was just about to the north side I swam over a couple big boulders and caught my side on a stick.  Why didn't I just stand up and walk to the other side?  I thought about it but I didn't want to cheat.  I wanted to do a few laps around the island but I didn't want to go through that anymore so I waded til Josh came around from his second lap.  When we met up again Josh told me he wanted to swim to the south pier and from there go to the east pier and then back to the ramp.  I was happy he made the suggestion, although it was cold I wanted to go farther than last week.  When I caught up with Josh he was waving to a little boy on the pier who was dumbfounded seeing two guys swimming in the pond.  On our way to the east pier my brain was in and out of consciousness.  Things would get a little foggy, or I'd feel lost...it was un-nerving.  Luckily we were close to the end and I tried to get there as fast as I could.  When we finished we had some extra support besides our family today.  There was a lady with her family fishing and having a pic-nic cheering and clapping.  As I was stumbling out of the water she yelled over to Josh and I "I don't know you guys, but hell of a good job!"  I got my worst case of hypothermia up to this point.  Usually I don't start shaking until I am dried off and dressed, but today I was still getting to dry land when my body started to shake.  Josh brought an emergency blanket for each of us but they didn't seem to be helping so we just got dressed and went to our cars and turned up the heater.  I was really looking forward to my hot shower and left the parking lot sooner than I should have.  The whole way home I was shaking almost uncontrollably and kept thinking "I really shouldn't be driving."  I got home safe and ran inside and took a nearly 30 minute long shower until I 'snapped out of it' and felt normal again.

Friday, April 15, 2011

.45 Miles Of Perfection

Weather never ceases to amaze me.  With the storm that passed through last week dropping the water temp 10 degrees, I was certain that the nearly solid week of snow and heavy rain leading up to today's swim would be devastating for the temp.  I was thinking 40 would be lucky.  Fortunately the thermometer took a journey in the other direction and the water was a very pleasant 58, only 6 degrees colder than Josh and I's swim at Alcatraz.  Gordon and Josh's plan was to start at the boat ramp and trace the perimeter of the pond, a little more than 1 mile.  Not hitting the pool yet to get in shape I decided to just swim around the island and back, about a half mile.  The three of us took the slow walk down the ramp and into the water together.  When we were waist deep Gordon and Josh took off with no problem but as I had imagined it going for me I started to hyperventilate.  As crazy as it sounds when I just jump in I don't have a problem, but when I walk in I usually have this problem.  I took a few short strokes and tried to swim it out.  This wasn't working so I stopped and tread water while I took a few deep breathes to even out my breathing.  When I was back in control I resumed the path towards the island.  About halfway there my body was climatized and was feeling great.  There were a couple cold spots along the way as well as warm, approaching the north end there was a current pushing against me and all around the island my hand would hit the bottom every few strokes.  When I was on the west side of it I was having a hard time seeing out of goggles from getting fogged up so when I was about to come back into view on the south side I took a break to clear them so I knew where I was heading.  The home stretch went pretty fast and swam through a couple more cold spots.  When I reached the finish my dad and nephew were waiting on the ramp, standing up I was a little dizzy and stumbled a bit but felt great other than that.  As I was taking my first step onto the cement I caught a glance of my skin and noticed something wasn't quite right with how it looked.  It had the familiar bumps and could see that most of my skin was the normal color with no red patches.  I took both hands and ran them across my stomach each finger drawing a line in the slimy residue of the pond. Looking up at my dad I said, "What is that?"  I'm not sure what it really was and prefer to keep it that way.  I felt like some sort of swamp creature.  Today was my favorite cold water swim so far, I finished at .45 miles and with couple stops to catch my breath and fix my goggles it only took 15:30.  Not too fast but for not being in shape and in 58 degrees I was pretty happy with it.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Glad To Be Back?...YES!!!

After time slipped away from me last week and had the beginnings of a cold or flu the week before that, it was good to get back with the cold water swim group today.  After reading the blogs of Gordon and Josh from last week about the excellent conditions, water temp near 60 degrees, I was feeling confident about completing a swim around the island.  Unfortunately as Spring goes in Utah a snow storm passed through the weekend and with a small pond with a perimeter of about 1 mile weather has a more dramatic effect than usual.  Gordon's thermometer read 48.9, a 10 degree drop in just a few days.  As if the significant drop in water temp wasn't enough, the wind was really blowing and kicking up some decent waves for such a tiny pond, and of course the wind chill factor.  I piled my clothes under the pic-nic table by the ramp, put my shoes on top so they wouldn't blow away, and ran to the east pier.  While I stood on the pier with Josh and Goody the rational part of my brain was desperately trying talk me into bailing out.  To those who know me the best know that I like to talk big, but in reality I'm not as tough as I lead people to believe.  However today I was close to succumbing to reason.  The hardest part is often just jumping in.  When you get in there is no getting out until completing the goal.  Right about this time another part of my brain; the crazy, irrational, adventurous, fun...whatever you want to label it was feeding me a different tone.  "Don't think about it, just jump in and go!"  Goody seemed to have been on this same train of thought, as soon as he was ready he was in the water and on his way.  Josh soon followed him and I was in after Josh.  It's amazing how much your brain can process in a split second, hanging in mid-air between the water and the safety of the pier I had thoughts of "There's no turning back now" and "You are really gonna regret this."  Sure enough upon hitting the water it immediately stung my body and had a little regret.  When my head came above water I was slammed with multiple waves and caught a mouthful of water.  Luckily I was able to control the natural urge to swallow and spit out the water instead.  I just did a short 200 yards so it went pretty fast.  This swim was the first cold water swim that I wanted to not waste any time and get out as soon as possible.  Getting dressed I was warm regardless of the wind and didn't start shaking til I got in my car and headed back home.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Swimming For Kidneys charity fundraiser

My brother Josh and I are planning to swim at least a 5k in 24 of Utah's State Parks to raise money that will be donated to the National Kidney Foundation of Utah and Idaho.  This is going to take place in summer 2012.  We look forward to and appreciate any support you can give, whether coming to watch and cheering, donating, being a sponsor, etc.  We have a couple ways to follow us where we will be posting stories, pictures, videos, links, where we will be at that week, etc. www.swimmingforkidneys.com and on facebook under Swimming For Kidneys.  We hope to hear from you!

Thursday, March 17, 2011

7:37/.22 Miles

3-17-11

After dropping a little at the first of the week from another storm passing through the water made up lost ground and was a cool 50 degrees.  As strange, or even crazy, as it sounds the last few weeks I have been a little let down not really feeling any effects of our swims.  It's not that I want to put myself in serious danger but the reason I'm participating in this group is to be a part of something few people even try, and to push my limits.  Today I reached that limit and tip-toed over the line, venturing into the unknown.  Gordon walked down the boat ramp and started swimming towards the island, while Josh and I made our way to the south pier where we would join him on his return.  The swim was on par with previous attempts; the initial shock of the water, breathing was under control, etc.  The last 75 yards I was really starting to get used to the cold and slightly counteract the effects.  When I reached the finish at the ramp  my body had the usual tiny bumps but to my surprise I couldn't really tell any difference in my skin pigment.  Trying to get out and take my goggles off that seemed to be glued to my eye sockets I was a little off balance and thought it was just the slimy rocks I was trying to avoid stepping on.  After falling a couple times I walked out and over to my towel.  While standing there a got a little dizzy and was still off balance for a good minute or so...mild hypothermia.  I only went about 180 more yards than last week but that extra couple of minutes seems to be the boundary for me personally.  Look forward to seeing how far I can go next week!

Friday, March 11, 2011

>200

3-10-11


With a temperature just a couple of tenths below 50 degrees I can no longer justify the prefix 'Polar' to our swims.  Our little winter swim team has grown by a couple members in week 4.  All afternoon the weather was perfect for a nice long relaxing swim in the pond.  But as fate would have it the clouds rolled in and the wind kicked up.  Betrayed by the weather our addiction to the numbing caress of the water overpowered flight.  We walked to the east pier as we have used the past few weeks and Gordon walked on to the south pier.  For our two new members today was their first experience.  Heidi took center stage and did a plunge for her first taste of the experience.  After she had successfully gotten out and warmed up; Josh, Goody, and I stood in the whirling wind and awaited Gordon to swim to our pier where we would join him.  He quickly reached us and Josh dove in, followed by Goody, and finally myself and we headed to the boat ramp at the northeast tip.  About 50 yards away from shore we tread water and made sure everyone was still above water.  During this time I raised my left arm out of the water to see if I could notice any change of color in my skin, however with my dark goggles and cloud cover this proved worthless.  Before starting again I turned to Josh and asked if he was gonna do fly the rest of the way.  He smiled and said no.  Thinking back on last week remembering that I wasn't sure my muscles had the mobility I wanted to try this week.  So with curiosity, and a bit of wanting to showoff, I did a few strokes of fly and finished the last few yards with free.  Even though I more than doubled the distance from the last attempt I felt great and immediately wished Josh and I would've joined Gordon at the farther distance.  Making no haste in getting out of the water I walked up the slippery ramp and over to where my towel was.  My skin was red and littered with tiny numb spots, but don't recall a single shiver.  I am continually amazed at the incredible resilience of the human body.  I hadn't even whipped myself off with my towel but just wrapped it around my shoulders and chest not more than 30 seconds and already the spots and the redness were gone.  My body had already recovered any heat that was lost and once again I was warmer standing in a dripping suit half naked against the wind than I was before the swim in a beanie and sweatshirt.

(As always Gordon has the video on his blog)

Thursday, March 3, 2011

1:33/258'

3-3-11


I already posted about this swim yesturday but now that my ego is back in check and my little tantrum is over i'm going to revise it.  I arrived at the pond after Gordons son Jake had just dried off from jumping in.  My dad and I were a few steps away from the east pier when there was a splash.  Looking out towards the water we saw Gordon had dove in and was on his way to the boat ramp which he measured before hand to be just over 200 yards.  For a lot of people that distance wouldn't even be a warm up, but when you add cold water to it it becomes a whole different monster.  The water was 45 degrees, 4 degrees warmer than the previous week.  A few strokes away from the finish Gordon had slowed down, not from lack of strength but due to the effects of the cold water.  With no further effects he made it triumphantly to the end.  Josh was up next and was gonna attempt the same course.  As soon as he entered the water Josh began to sprint towards the goal.  Again not a long distance but over 4 times what any of us had done the week before.  Walking along the trail percieving the water had no effect on his perfect stroke and was able to keep it as smooth as ever.  I thought I had noticed him drift a little farther from shore and after he reached the ramp and told us the distance my perception was comfirmed.  211 yards.  Soon it was my turn.  I was struggling with what I was comfortable in trying to accomplish, this being only the second week swimming.  My goal all week was 100 yards which would've been a little more than double last weeks achievement.  After watching both Gordon and Josh complete the 200+ yards with relative ease I had more confidence that I could make it as well.  When we got back to the pier the small doubt that still lingered got the best of me and I decided to just be safe and go with my original goal.  The ladder was lowered and after a graceful belly flop I was off.  While swimming away from the group I looked over my shoulder to see how far I had gone and without any idea of the distance I decided to keep going.  One thing I regretted about the first swim was not taking the time to really feel the water.  Keeping this in mind I took a few more strokes, stopped and wadded in the pond feeling how the water felt around me.  Showing my pleasure and enjoyment in the water (and since I wasn't moving, to let them know I was OK) I raised both arms out of the water and gave the group at the pier two thumbs up and started back.  A few strokes within the finish I thought about showing off and doing fly to the end but to be honest I didn't think my muscles had the mobility to pull it off.  Every swim I slip farther into the intoxicating lullaby of the cold water and leave yearning and needing more.



Saturday, February 26, 2011

Deer Creek                      8-14-2010





“A man’s life is interesting primarily when he has failed—I well know. For it’s a sign he tried to surpass himself.”

-Georges Clemenceau



I’m not really sure where I want to go with this post so I’m just going to type and hope that it’s worth the time you spend reading it and are maybe able to take something away from it. I know that the preface to my blog perhaps wasn’t that clear in understanding so I will start there. The vast majority of my writing style is using riddles or writing to ‘be read in-between the lines.’ Sometimes on the other hand I am very literal to exact definitions of the words I use. Indeed my vocabulary isn’t picked wily nilly, but meticulously put together like a puzzle fitting every word and sentence together exactly. If you were to read my poetry this would be better understood. Using these devices is a neat way to pour out feelings without fear of being exposed. Such is the writer’s mind I suppose. Going back to the title: “Swimming Towards Redemption,” I would think it obvious that I don’t mean to imply that by any achievement in the water will save my soul. It’s just a fancy short way of saying, “By swimming and achieving small goals and pushing myself to bigger ones, I will ‘atone’ for quitting my high school team and prove to myself that I can do what I set out to do. Even though I was getting slower I could’ve kept going then and still can now.”

If you are a constant visitor to my blog you have heard about my family in every post and you will again here. Please forgive me for my redundancies. God and my family are truly the source of my strength. Without their vast love and continued support I would simply lack the power. I remember when I was a young boy at the Doctors for my checkup that I went to every 3 months to keep an eye on my kidneys. The Doctor talked about how I shouldn’t be able to get out of bed in the morning, and I was hit with an intense outpouring of love and instantly knew that this was able because God gives me the strength. On countless occasions since various Doctors and specialists have stood baffled at lab results and medical anomalies that had no medical explanation. My parents and I during these moments would steal glances to one another and with a smile testify of our knowledge and give our thanks. To remember this daily blessing I have a little saying that I repeat in my mind or whisper under my breath when I am starting a race, or even just to train. “I swim with God.” Or “God swims with me.”

When my brother began to get into triathlons the resentment I had for myself that I took out on swimming began to evaporate and found that it was again okay to get into the pool and renew the love I had previously lost. A couple years past and I competed in a few triathlons with him and my sister.

From triathlons Josh’s interest was turned to open water swimming. He mentioned a book he read and parts of the stories it contained. I bought Swimming To Antarctica, by Lynne Cox and within the first two pages I was hooked. Her accounts of endless determination and overwhelming training was a great inspiration to me and planted a desire to push myself that clung to every line that my eyes passed over and was nourished by every chapter. By the end of the book this desire conceived a determination to make a memoir of my own swims and journey that led me to them. We picked out many races to be possibilities and decided on a race held at Alcatraz to be the first. After an incredible trip with the family and an amazing experience at the race, we faced the sad fact these illustrious trips weren’t going to fit the budget every year and shifted focus to local open water events.

With one race completed my confidence in being able to accomplish greater goals was growing and my will was a snowballing force barreling downhill unopposed. With my next race set for Deer Creek where I would attempt my first 5k, I began a furious schedule and got to training. I’ve found that whenever I take time off from any sport that the first day back is the most important. The more I’m able to push that first time back the stronger I am and the easier training will be. That first workout I powered through the water with the grace and strength of a dolphin and the hunger and malice of an Orca preying after a seal, focused and relentless. I had found a new depth of character that I’ve never had before in my life. After just an hour in the pool I had swam thousands of yards while working through several different sets. Sprints, ladders, distance, pull, and land all played a role in bringing my body out of hibernation. With acception of being on a team I usually compete to enjoy myself and improve my own time not worrying about anyone else. This time I wanted to compete and see where I would end up in the standings.

For the next couple of workouts I doubled my distance and speed each day. The next several weeks my fury continued and focus shifted to mechanics rather than brute strength whereas as I’ve gotten older have learned the two are symbiotic, the one improving the other. I was riding such a high and getting anxious to prove myself and have the hours of training pay off. To reinforce my thinking, I wasn’t being cocky I had just never been so focused and determined. Inevitably a fall was sure to be coming my way.

It was beautiful mid-August morning, a perfect day for a swim. After the 10 mile and the 10k racers had started it was time for all the 5k swimmers to get in the water. My dad who was in the kayak to be my support boat to toss me snacks or fluid as I needed and I entered the water. It was a very pleasant temperature in the 60’s. As part of my strategy I swam to the front left flank of the group. Starting in the front would allow me a little distance ahead of anyone behind me that was faster while being on the left side I had a more direct path towards the buoy that marked the halfway point. The horn sounded and the first couple hundred yards was an all out sprint to gain separation as well as position. After this initial push was over I stretched out my stroke and got into a comfortable pace. I was feeling good and had a small group behind me that I kept an eye on looking over my shoulder every once in awhile to keep on the offensive gauging their distance from me and to stop any attempt to overtake me.

I was getting close to the turnaround when things fell apart. My swim cap was squeezing tight on my forehead and causing a headache. After a couple practices the weeks preceding I had the same problem and told my family half jokingly that I’d have to wear a cap around the house working my way up to sufficient time to endure the race. I should’ve. I stayed in one place and waded thinking what to do and hoping that it might pass in a few moments. My dad paddled over and asked if I needed a drink or anything to eat. I told him that I didn’t and all I needed was to get out. At the time I couldn’t think about how to solve it so to my gut wrenching regret and utter humiliation I swam to the edge of the reservoir and got out. It was the longest hike up to the road and all the way back to the parking lot that I had had to make, in which tears freely flowed unrestricted. I failed again. I started this post in the hope that it would turn into something great, that some great epiphany or lesson would be learned…But all I was able to reveal was that I give up too easily.
Early Beginnings

I dug up this paper I wrote 12 long years ago when I was in Jr High and thought I'd put it on here.  It doesn't really have anything to do with the blog other than the fact it's about swimming...

Once upon the happiest day in my life.  I was 13 and 1/2 years old standing on the starting block of my life, the block that was starting my future goals and successes.  "Swimmers take your mark!" "Get Set!" "Go!"  Five swimmers swimming to win, two on the left and two on the right with me in between.  25 yards, 50 yards, 75 yards... I was one stroke ahead of everyone else racing.  Then two.  Then all of a sudden I was there!  I won by ten strokes!

I looked up and to my right, my coach was running, jumping, and screaming as loud as he could.  "You beat your best time by sixteen seconds!!!"  I ended up with a time of 1:23.  So after that I was very happy.  And that was the happiest day of my childhood...Until next time.

The funny thing about this assignment is that I got sent home with a note for my parents to come and talk with my English teacher about it.  She thought I plagiarized it! Ha ha makes me laugh.

Friday, February 25, 2011

:45/123’                                                                                       2-24-11




Josh and I were instantly hooked after jumping into the freezing waters of Deer Creek that just 5 days after he and his buddy Gordon, who couldn’t join us at Deer Creek, made plans to go to Bountiful Pond and have a go at pushing beyond what we had done.

We met at the pond at 4:30. Josh came with Sabrina and their boys, Gordon brang his wife and kids, and I came alone. We unloaded the ladder and headed toward the first pier where we planned on jumping in. The water was much deeper right off the pier than we thought it would be, the ladder we lowered down barely reached the platform when it hit the bottom. Josh put in the thermometer and after a few minutes got a reading of 41 degrees, 5 degrees warmer than our previous jump.

Four of us were going to be getting in, Josh and his wife Sabrina, Gordon, and myself. We laid out our towels and blankets in preparation. Josh was first and without hesitation jumped and started swimming after about 9 strokes he did a flip turn and headed back. Seconds after Josh had pulled him out and gotten his towel wrapped around him Gordon was diving in and swimming as if it was his daily routine putting his face down and everything! It was really amazing to see him go after it like that, especially for his first time. When he got out and was drying off he experienced what Josh and I did a few days earlier…that addiction to the cold that takes hold of you and he was already planning for the next swim.

It was than my turn. I was really excited to see how it would be to swim in water of that temperature and see what I could do. Going into the swim I only had a couple loose plans of what I would do. Learning from last time I knew that first of all I had to do a ‘water polo stroke,’ doing this would keep my titanium plates out of the water and not cause any trouble. As for the second I didn’t want to push myself too far so I just planned on doing maybe 10 yards. Not a lot but I would be happy to just do that much. I swam out at a decent pace and was cold but it was definitely bearable. I didn’t have any idea how far I had gone but decided to turn back before I got out too far. Upon turning back I instantly felt my pace significantly slow down and after looking at the video it is easily evident that this occurred. I’m not sure if my muscles were tightened from the cold or what the exact cause was but it was an interesting experience. When I got out Josh wrapped my towel around me and I started to get dry. My body wasn’t immediately warm as last time, this time it took me a minute or two to get comfortable. Standing on the platform watching Sabrina jump in I also noticed that this time my feet didn’t hurt like before in fact they weren’t even cold, but my hands for about 20 minutes were very cold and numb. When they unthawed the tips of my fingers were burning and a little painful. I got my gps that I had inside my cap while in the water and it read that I was in for 45 seconds and went 123 feet! I was pretty happy I had reached just over 41 yards but at the same time was a little upset that I didn’t push farther. We can’t wait til next time! This addiction may very well put me in the hospital before I’m through pushing my boundaries…

                                          The ladder is fully extended!

Gordon, Josh, Sabrina, Jake(Me)
...Gordon has a video he posted on his blog:

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Polar Plunge                                                                  2-19-2011




Severe shaking, stiff muscles, cyanosis, slowed heart rate, decreased mobility, amnesia, weakness, drowsiness, confusion, hallucinations…Anyone with any sanity would not subject their bodies to this torment. My brother however is one that loves pushing himself to new boundaries usually with me not far behind eager to take the next step. Josh had signed up to participate in a Polar Plunge at Deercreek Reservoir, one of four sites that would benefit the Utah Special Olympics. Being out of a job I played the little brother card telling him how freezing he would be thinking I was safe unable to pay to sign up. The Sunday before the Plunge was to take place the conversation came up again while having our weekly family get together for dessert, and again being the supportive type I am for my brother I began the harassing again. A few minutes later I noticed Josh was on his phone and didn’t think much of it. Then he raised his head holding the screen towards me saying “Ok, you’re signed up!”

It’s true I was happy he volunteered my participation. Neither of us had been in water that cold before and thinking about one of my hero’s Lynne Cox swimming in frigid waters to Antarctica over a mile in 32 degrees quite frankly the idea was enticing.

We got up Saturday and headed up to Deercreek around 8 am. The sky was covered with clouds and soon the snow began falling. After arriving at Deercreek Island Resort we walked through the parking lot toward the boat ramp where the Plunge would take place. Looking at the Utah shaped hole in the reservoir I was surprised to see how thick the ice was that had been cut out with a chainsaw earlier that morning…Yes I know its winter but still, I didn’t think it would be a foot thick.

Days leading up to the event I thought about the previously mentioned symptoms of hypothermia and instantly threw them out knowing my bodies core wouldn’t drop the almost 4 degrees necessary to usher in the life threatening condition just jumping in and immediately getting out. There were however a couple things that I was concerned about; 1. Hyperventilation, would I be able to control my breathing just jumping in and not easing my way into the freezing water? And 2. The titanium plates that line the front of my skull, is just a few seconds submerged in cold enough water enough to cool down the metal under the skin bringing painful headaches? I wasn’t sure.

Soon it was time to get started; two divers suited up and entered the water as a safety to help anyone that may require. They told us the water was just a couple of feet deep where we were going to be entering and with this I was able to relax about hyperventilating, even if the shock was great enough to cause irregular breathing I was confident knowing I could touch the bottom and walk out. It was going to be an ‘every man for himself’ to enter the water, cannonball after cannonball and pig after chicken splashed into the water trying to spray the spectators standing close by. We made our way over and stripped down, Josh in his famous poke a dot speedo and I in my awesome jammers.

Continuing the tradition of previous participants Josh ran and cannonballed into the frigid waters. After he was clear I made my way to the mat and dully jumped in. My head broke the surface and to my amazement the 36 degree water although a shock to the body it wasn’t as cold as I thought it would be and hadn’t caused any shortness of breath, not using the ladder I put my two palms on the edge of the ice and hoisted myself out of the water as I had done many times lifting myself out of the pool. Running, or at least quickly walking up to my family I grabbed my towel and wrapped it around me. Standing there in my towel and suit I was right about one concern, in the literal seconds I was in the water it had cooled down the metal in my head bringing a painful headache concentrated in my forehead. Luckily this only lasted maybe a half minute. While standing on the ramp talking to family and watching the others jump in I noticed my body wasn’t shaking as it does in order to create heat to warm itself up. I was warm. In fact in my towel I was warmer than I had been all dressed up in my sweater and beanie before getting in. I don’t say this to sound cocky but rather to give credit to the amazing ability that our bodies have. Had just that short amount of time instantly triggered the body into its survival mode restricting blood circulation to less mortal parts? I can only speculate having no medical training but I believe that that is what had happened. The only thing that was cold was my feet.

Enthusiastically Josh soon said “I’m going again!” So following suit I threw my towel off and headed after him. The announcer was excited to see that the two of us were coming back for more. My second jump was more energetic running up and doing a cannonball. Getting out one spectator asked me “Was it warmer the second time?” I chuckled, “Ya it is!” This time standing off to the side my feet were not only cold but now were very painful. We were in merely a few seconds but even that little taste walking on numb feet felt like walking on raw exposed nerves.

Josh and I putting in the thermometer, making sure not to feel the water and pysch ourselves out
Josh and I drying off after the first jump...
                                
                  
                                          My cannonball on the second jump
No Josh is not naked
To view a video check out Josh's site:

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Gulf Of Mexico








Just returned home from being with my parents in Florida last night.  Although I didn't participate in any races I was able to make it to Clearwater Beach on the west coast of Florida and swim in the Gulf Of Mexico.  It was early afternoon when we arrived at the beach and although it was partially cloudy the suns rays managed to penetrate through making it a comfortable mid 70's day.  People were scattered all along the vast stretches of soft powdery white sand; some were laying out while others ran along the shoreline and a select few tip-toed around in the water, but no one was going for it and getting in--and upon walking in I realized why all the hesitation.  With my body as the only thermometer I had I put the water at a chilly 50-55, significantly cooler than the Pacific wrapping your skin in a paralyzed tingly wet blanket.  Pushing hesitation aside I continued walking deeper and deeper into the ocean.  Standing neck deep in the water like a buoy my head bobbed and swayed as I contemplated submersion.  It took quite a few minutes to get used to the water but once I was in I enjoyed the experience and not to mention the fact that I was the only one in sight brave enough to muster the courage to face the cold.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

ALCATRAZ                                                         8-29-09

                Resting on the side of the pool one afternoon, where time was often stolen, my best friend offered advice on how  she motivates herself to swim faster, “Just pretend there’s a shark behind you.” Sinking back into the water and continuing our workout I found myself almost drowning, with every breath laughing audibly and taking in mouth fulls of water imagining a fierce grey shadow closing in on me effortlessly as I try to escape its jaws, its dead eyes cutting deeper than any row of teeth could penetrate.  Little did I know that in a few short years this would become reality…
My older brother Josh told me one day about an open water race in San Francisco called “Swim With The Centurions.”  The course would start off the shore of Alcatraz and finish at Aquatic Park about 1.25 miles depending on how straight you could swim fighting through different currents.  At first I thought he was joking because I didn’t think such an awesome event could really exist.  Needless to say it wasn’t a joke or you wouldn’t be reading this story right now.  After going online and searching for the race we learned that this was just one of several races at Alcatraz and that this particular race was named for the group of people who have swum the rock 100 times or more and would be competing with us. 
I must admit that although excited about  the race I was also a little uneasy about what creatures we may encounter.  About a month before the race I began having strange dreams, sharks not necessarily  attacking but circling me, not being able to swim, etc.  I punched them in the nose, stuck my finger in their eyes, you know all the things you learn from Discovery watching Shark Week.  Thankfully these dreams didn’t last long, in fact they got better, the sharks still swam around in my subconscious while I slept but they were no longer menacing or threatening. 
Finally it was Friday and time to board the plane for California! We arrived at SFO early afternoon and later that night we drove to Aquatic Park for the practice swim held by Coach Pedro of Water World Swim.  After a short greeting and talk, including advice backing up warnings on signs posted around the area on staying away from the local seal population which are known to bite when people get too close, Pedro took us out cutting across the park and swam along the pier.  “…This is a challenging swim and we recommend to all participants to train properly with lots of time ahead. Water World Swim of San Francisco, the experts of this swim, can give you the right advice, support and coaching for this swim.”   These words from the registration website kept echoing in my mind as we left the park for open water, waves were pounding the piers that we traced making it difficult to swim or breath and at times to move forward was almost impossible.  Rising with the waves the next second would be a short free fall as if the water suddenly evaporated beneath you.

I’ll be the first to admit, I was dumb.  I didn’t train for the race and put in the practice time that was necessary.  Since the race was limited to 350 swimmers we had to register early which meant I had several months before I had to begin to even think about training, well as you probably have experienced at one time or another time quickly caught up and I was feeling it halfway through the practice swim.  I was exhausted, frustrated, and my shoulders were on fire and could’ve fallen off at any time.  As in high school I again found myself in an internal debate whether to keep pushing through the pain and finish or turn around and head back preserving what little strength I may have left for the race in the morning.  Stroke after stroke I had to make the decision to keep going, mentally I had to finish the swim by blocking out the pain and focusing on the finish.  My  mind wondered back to the shallow end of the pool separated from the rest of the team doing fly ladders struggling to keep pace with the star on the team, wishing I was there confident and relatively comfortable.  The decision was an easy one to make, I knew if I gave up now it would be all the easier to give up in the morning.  As per usual my brother finished way ahead of me but more importantly we both finished and left with an idea of how things would be the following morning.

It was a beautiful morning even for 6 a.m.  The sun hadn’t risen yet, the air was crisp with a slight chill and no fog in the Bay, a promising sign for a great adventure.  My dad drove my brother and I out to Aquatic Park and met  other swimmers and enjoyed the view while the rest of the family slept a little longer and got ready before joining us.  Our intense excitement grew as the sun came up and its rays danced on the ocean transforming it from the dull lifeless black ice into the grayish deep blue of day.  After what had seemed like an eternity it was time to start.  In the years preceding this race we had competed along with our sister in multiple triathlons back home in Utah most of which the swim takes place in one of the state parks reservoirs , although a reservoir is vastly different from the ocean skills from these open water swims still applied.  Swimming in large groups at the same time and being kicked in the head or taking an elbow to the eye were not uncommon and even expected.  Probably the most important skill learned that we took with us was the ability of sighting.  Unlike lanes in the pool the ocean and reservoirs don’t have convenient lines or flags to follow so finding a fixed and easily identifiable object whether a cliff or a tree or in my case at Alcatraz specific buildings is crucial to swimming straight and not wasting time and more importantly energy correcting your course.  Without an object in sight on this swim you could easily miss the finish altogether by losing focus and being pushed or pulled by the currents.

We fought our way into our wetsuits and ran through a mental check list: make sure our timing chips were on tight, fitted our goggles, got our disposable waterproof cameras hung around our neck put on our swim caps; and gathered together for final instructions and cautions.  After a short cheer we walked down the pier until we reached Pier 39 where we would board the fairy to take us out off the shore of Alcatraz.  My brother and I headed to the top of 3 decks taking in the views of the bay we were leaving behind and watched the seals play in the ocean.  After about a 20 minute ride the fairy was sitting at the jump point and support boats and kayaks were getting in place.  It wasn’t just the anticipation that was killing me but at this point my wetsuit had really heated up magnifying my own body heat trapped inside its tight neoprene skin.  We stood anxiously on deck awaiting the okay from the Coast Guard , the ‘nakeds,’ swimmers without wetsuits, would be the first to enter the water swim to the imaginary start line and begin when the fairy sounded its horn.  In 5 second increments two by two the rest of us would jump of the bottom deck and begin when we hit the water. 

Since this was our first time swimming from Alcatraz and most likely our last Josh and I wanted to make sure we took everything in and not rush.  We stood on the edge of the deck looking towards the bay at our goal, two of just a handful that remained.  Pouncing at the water ready to attack we were in, our heads submerged and seconds later breaking the surface.  The water was a pleasant 64 degrees and uncharacteristically calm, treading and bobbing in the ocean we talked and enjoyed the experience moving slowly back to shore taking turns snapping pictures of each other and of surrounding views as we swam.  A few hundred yards later my brother turned to me and said, “Ok, I’m gonna go for it now.”  Taking another look to the bay we found our sights lowered our heads in the water as a bull lowering its horns towards the Matador stretched an arm over head and sliced the water forcing handfuls behind us propelling our bodies smoothly through the gentle waves.  Within minutes Josh was yards ahead and his superior strength and flawless technique were distancing us further.

I was home.  A fish born without gills back in his natural environment.  For the next half mile I was gliding along the water.  In those moments finishing didn’t matter, the ocean was the only world that existed and I was a part of it, another cell coursing through its veins, an extension of every movement.  I was feeling great, enjoying the swim and wasn’t experiencing any setbacks like the night before.  The second half of the race however was an entirely different story.

I was struggling with my wetsuit, it just didn’t feel right even unnatural.  Movement was impeded by its constricting design and despite being in the water heat was still a small issue.  My shoulders were starting to burn once again feeling the consequence of not training, but even more painful was the rubber band that came with the camera.  Between the friction of each arm stroke rubbing the skin off my neck and the salt from the ocean continually flowing over it the pain was numbing and mentally I was being worn down.  Not wanting to move the images of sharks crept back into my thoughts as the blood from my neck was now being infused with the water.  Although local populations were negligible at worst I knew that the scent could carry for miles even in minute quantities.  The last thing I could afford to do now was panic.  Closing my eyes I pushed aside the phantasm as best I could, refocused and continued my crippled journey to Aquatic Park.  After what had seemed like several times longer than in my better state of mind knew it had been, I was mere hundreds of yards away from the piers and fighting through bigger waves.  I was moving slowly but I was still moving, my will was fractured but my soul had not allowed it to brake and had given me strength to carry myself to the end.

Inside the park the muscles in my shoulders were running on fumes and as if a backup generator had been turned on energy was being sent pulsing through my body burst after burst  I was now down to the final several yards and the last competitor that I could pass before crossing the finish.  Cutting  to the right I powered past my rival stretching out every stroke darting for the shoreline.  Reaching the beach I pulled myself out of the water and ran up the mats and through the finish line.  A young volunteer hung the 7th Annual Swim with the Centurions medal around my neck as I felt a heavy tap on my right shoulder.  Turning around I faced the hand of the swimmer I had just moments ago passed reaching out looking for mine and with a smile on his face simply said: “Way to finish strong, Great Job.”