I'm sure the first words out of the Dr.'s mouth when I was born weren't "It's a swimmer!", nevertheless that was life's ultimate plan for the years ahead. All growing up we spent summers in our grandma's pool and for a lot of us Gram would be our first coach. With my brother and sister along with cousins we would learn basic technique and the water became our second home. 'Reunions' were weekly if not daily. Swimming was my first love but sometimes life forces us to give up the things we love. At the age of 3 I was diagnosed with Chronic Renal Failure, more specifically Prune Belly; A kidney disease effecting 1 in 40,000. Attacking the immune system, reducing energy, and holding kidney function at 12-14% getting out of bed in the morning is nothing short of a miracle and everyday truely a blessing. When I was a Jr. in high school my swimming times began to slip and at first I didn't pay it much attention but I soon realized I was headed down a difficult road, a road that only went in one direction. Physically I didn't feel any different and for the next several weeks I wrestled with myself as I practiced. "Should I stay? Is it worth it anymore? What about the team?" Failure was knocking at my door and threatening what I loved. Without my hand on the knob the door opened and passion died. There was a moment standing waist deep in the water inbetween sets, everything slowed down and reality settled in my heart and sank to the bottom of the pool. Failure was not a choice but something I had to accept...or so I thought. For years after quiting the team I was bitter and angry, I didn't want to swim or even hear about swimming. I dont think my family understood where I was and quite frankly neither did I. Part of me died when I left and for those who have had a broken heart for whatever reason understand what I mean. Somewhere along the way my brother started to dabble in triathlons and other athletic events, soon my sister joined and before I knew it I had been sucked in as well. Emersed in a new journey, high school was in the past and another chapter in life was starting. Bitterness melted away and anger faded. "If you love something, set it free..." I don't recall who originally said this but for me this came true. I had a renewed love and a refined understanding and acceptance of the past. I moved on and gained a burning desire to rise above circumstance. Before I layed down and didn't fight, life will always find ways to knock us down but we only lose when we give up or give in. I'll push through the pain, I'll kick a little longer, I'll reach a little farther...I'll swim towards redemption

Friday, May 13, 2011

Black Rock

                                                                                                5-12-11

       Although I enjoy a challenge I was looking forward to less waves due to decreased boat activity during the weekdays.  Josh and I discussed a couple different courses and decided we'd walk out from Silver Sands Beach and start from the eastern buoy and swim to Black Rock and back, roughly 2 miles.  We had a lot of family support as usual come out; Our parents, Grandma, Sister and Brother-In-Law...and of course it wouldn't be a party without the 3 little nephews Harrison, Owen, and Cole.  Josh and I were happy to see Jodi carrying a bag with her and got excited that she would be getting in.  Unfortunately the bag that we thought had her swim gear in it was just the treat the bag to keep the little boys happy.  Maybe next time.

       After a few minutes talking with family and playing with the nephews I really started feeling weak and fatigued and wondered if I would be up to swimming.  I did some stretches and headed down to the beach and walked around in the water to cool down a little.  Josh joined shortly after and we headed for the starting buoy.

       There was a few cold spots going out to the buoy but other than that the water felt great.  When we reached our starting point I told Josh I'd just take off while he made final adjustments to his gps knowing he's a stronger swimmer and would catch up shortly.  My fatigue and weakness disappeared as soon as I started which gave me a lot of confidence.  I put focus on not stopping and to just keep a pace and push through the pain when my shoulders got tired.  One of the best helps that I have learned from reading about Lynne Cox is being able to mentally force yourself to keep going through pain knowing that after you break through the barrier it becomes easier and get sort of a second wind.

       I'm sure Josh was holding back but I was able to stay close to him for about half the distance out.  Every now and then I would take wider strokes for 50 yards or so to try and reduce chaffing.  About 3/4 of the way to Black Rock my head began hurting and put a crack in my confidence.  I decided to take my goggles off and that immediately got rid of the pain and my confidence was patched.  I caught up to Josh and we talked for a few minutes before turning back.

       On the second leg we were swimming against the current but were making good time.  When I got halfway or slightly farther back my headache returned and really started to wear me down mentally.  I took off my goggles again but that didn't do any good and I couldn't take my cap off because of my gps that was underneath.  I only swam with a good stroke a couple hundred yards after that and the rest I did breaststroke or swam head up.

       The marina was getting closer and closer and was looking very appealing to cut in there and be done instead of going the extra 1/4 mile back to the beach.  When I reached the mouth of the marina I made the decision to end early knowing that I wasn't losing much distance and felt like I had fought pretty well to this point.  If I can just push a little farther with the pain and build a stronger tolerance I will reach my goal.  After Deercreek I felt that a 5k wasn't gonna be possible but on this swim I was able to hold on for almost an extra mile.  I feel that the goal is just out of reach but am confident that I will grab it soon.

       I was a little sad to see 2.3 miles on my GPS but I wasn't mad about it.  When I got home and took a look at the readings from my Garmin and compared it to the last swim there was definite improvement.  My pace per mile was higher and more steady than the previous swim.  I also set a new personal record for open water distance this season and for my lifetime.  I found out from my Grandma that she was worried because we swam out of her eye site and didn't get back soon enough.  Guess I gotta get faster!

      

     

Sunday, May 8, 2011

'Misguided'

                                                                                           5-7-11

Using my last swim course as a guide and tweaking it a bit I was planning on 3 miles and depending on how I felt maybe hit 4.  I was happy to finally talk my dad into getting in and swimming with me, it was a nice day out and didn't notice much wind.  There were quit a few cars in the parking lot which was a great surprise even though they were there for boating and not to swim.  I noticed the water level had risen a couple feet and when my dad and I walked in it may have been me but it seemed a little colder than before but still felt good.  A couple strokes into the swim the water was feeling great and I was ready for a long swim.  When I reached the mouth of the marina and into the open water the waves began their plans to foil my goal.  They weren't too big but big enough that it was gonna be a tougher workout.  On my way to the first buoy I could feel my Gatorade Prime that I had shoved up the leg of my suit moving around and I began to doubt that it would stay in until I wanted it.  Heading east to begin the first lap I could feel the waves pushing me towards shore and had to correct my path a few times but made pretty good time.  Reaching the third buoy the plan was to head further away from shore to the red buoy.  I figured that they were red for a reason and that I wasn't supposed to swim out there but threw the rules out and went for it anyway.  On the second lap I heard the people standing on the look out yelling "Swimmer! Swimmer!!!"  I stopped and looked around trying to figure out what was going on and other than a boat that I had gone by me a couple times and I was keeping an eye on I didn't notice anything wrong so I kept swimming.  On the home stretch of the second lap I waded in the water and got out the Prime I brought with me to help with the dry mouth caused by salt.  With the first shot the contrast between the dryness of the salt and the wet sweetness I gagged, spit it out, and dry heaved but managed to get the rest down.  About halfway back from the second lap I started to get worn down and even a little frustrated at times with the waves and began debating whether I'd do a third or fourth lap, and knowing how upset I would be with myself I settled on doing a half lap and finishing at Silver Sands Beach.  Knowing that I was on my final leg it gave me extra adrenaline and it went by pretty quick.  Taking my Garmin GPS out of my swim cap it read 1.6 miles...needless to say I was upset and pretty disappointed with myself.  I knew by my estimation it wouldn't be 3 miles which was bad enough but cutting the third lap in half I was planning on seeing just over 2 miles so I ended up about a half mile of what I thought.  The thing that made it the worst was before the swim I told my parents that they were gonna see a new Jake record for distance.  I know they weren't disappointed but like my dad said "He's never  happy" and he is right as long as I don't hit at least a 5k.  When I got home I realized that my estimations were right but as part of my laps I didn't swim back into the marina or add something else to keep that lost distance.  I believe in being hard on myself but also finding good things to look at, so to end on a happy note the 1.6 miles was double the distance of my last swim and the furthest I have gone so far this year.  My pace was also pretty good right around 2 mph.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

200 Yards Short

                                                                                             5-4-11

It's no longer a cold water group with the temp at 60 on Wednesday.  It was a great day for swimming and I was really looking forward to going back to the Great Salt Lake, I think it may be my new favorite place to swim (when the ocean isn't an option).  Unfortunately I was late so I got there as Josh, Gordon, and Goody were finishing their swim, but I got to chat with Brad from the State Parks who was there taking pictures of the swimmers.  I'm excited to get to volunteer for Josh's swim he has put together this summer and it's great to see how much support and excitement the State Parks are giving him.  I did the course that the rest of the group did except I went in reverse, starting at the ramp.  Just a few seconds in and the water was great.  My goal was to do at least a mile and to not stop as much.  Leaving the marina a boat passed on my left and I had the pleasure of eating gasoline for the next 25 yards or so.  Last week I was feeling really weak for some reason, but this week I felt better even though I still have a slight cold.  After I made it out of the marina and to the first green buoy I looked east to sight the third buoy and headed for it.  I'm still working on getting in shape so going out felt somewhat slow but just as enjoyable.  On the return lap I finally felt like I had a rhythm going and a steady pace to keep and the second half felt like it went by much faster.  I always felt kind of dumb because I didn't notice any currents when Josh and I swam Alcatraz in 2009, even more so because Coach Pedro had a special meeting talking about how strong they were and where to go for the best paths.  It may be that I hadn't done hardy any open water swimming because now that I have done more I have noticed being moved around both times in the Great Salt Lake.  Cutting across to return to the marina there was a slight current that I had to fight a little but luckily it didn't take much because I was kinda wearing out from the swim and my cold.  All in all it was a great swim.  I ended up at .88 miles so I was roughly 200 yards short which I was upset about but now I will know where to go next time.  I was surprised by my time again, I finished just under 29 minutes, about 14.5 each lap which is what Josh and I did last week with the wind doing most of the work for us.  As for the second half of my goal I did stop a handful of times but I think I did much better.  For my next swim I need to stuff a Gatorade Prime in my suit not necessarily for the energy but to rehydrate my mouth from all the salt drying it out.