I'm sure the first words out of the Dr.'s mouth when I was born weren't "It's a swimmer!", nevertheless that was life's ultimate plan for the years ahead. All growing up we spent summers in our grandma's pool and for a lot of us Gram would be our first coach. With my brother and sister along with cousins we would learn basic technique and the water became our second home. 'Reunions' were weekly if not daily. Swimming was my first love but sometimes life forces us to give up the things we love. At the age of 3 I was diagnosed with Chronic Renal Failure, more specifically Prune Belly; A kidney disease effecting 1 in 40,000. Attacking the immune system, reducing energy, and holding kidney function at 12-14% getting out of bed in the morning is nothing short of a miracle and everyday truely a blessing. When I was a Jr. in high school my swimming times began to slip and at first I didn't pay it much attention but I soon realized I was headed down a difficult road, a road that only went in one direction. Physically I didn't feel any different and for the next several weeks I wrestled with myself as I practiced. "Should I stay? Is it worth it anymore? What about the team?" Failure was knocking at my door and threatening what I loved. Without my hand on the knob the door opened and passion died. There was a moment standing waist deep in the water inbetween sets, everything slowed down and reality settled in my heart and sank to the bottom of the pool. Failure was not a choice but something I had to accept...or so I thought. For years after quiting the team I was bitter and angry, I didn't want to swim or even hear about swimming. I dont think my family understood where I was and quite frankly neither did I. Part of me died when I left and for those who have had a broken heart for whatever reason understand what I mean. Somewhere along the way my brother started to dabble in triathlons and other athletic events, soon my sister joined and before I knew it I had been sucked in as well. Emersed in a new journey, high school was in the past and another chapter in life was starting. Bitterness melted away and anger faded. "If you love something, set it free..." I don't recall who originally said this but for me this came true. I had a renewed love and a refined understanding and acceptance of the past. I moved on and gained a burning desire to rise above circumstance. Before I layed down and didn't fight, life will always find ways to knock us down but we only lose when we give up or give in. I'll push through the pain, I'll kick a little longer, I'll reach a little farther...I'll swim towards redemption

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Glad To Be Back?...YES!!!

After time slipped away from me last week and had the beginnings of a cold or flu the week before that, it was good to get back with the cold water swim group today.  After reading the blogs of Gordon and Josh from last week about the excellent conditions, water temp near 60 degrees, I was feeling confident about completing a swim around the island.  Unfortunately as Spring goes in Utah a snow storm passed through the weekend and with a small pond with a perimeter of about 1 mile weather has a more dramatic effect than usual.  Gordon's thermometer read 48.9, a 10 degree drop in just a few days.  As if the significant drop in water temp wasn't enough, the wind was really blowing and kicking up some decent waves for such a tiny pond, and of course the wind chill factor.  I piled my clothes under the pic-nic table by the ramp, put my shoes on top so they wouldn't blow away, and ran to the east pier.  While I stood on the pier with Josh and Goody the rational part of my brain was desperately trying talk me into bailing out.  To those who know me the best know that I like to talk big, but in reality I'm not as tough as I lead people to believe.  However today I was close to succumbing to reason.  The hardest part is often just jumping in.  When you get in there is no getting out until completing the goal.  Right about this time another part of my brain; the crazy, irrational, adventurous, fun...whatever you want to label it was feeding me a different tone.  "Don't think about it, just jump in and go!"  Goody seemed to have been on this same train of thought, as soon as he was ready he was in the water and on his way.  Josh soon followed him and I was in after Josh.  It's amazing how much your brain can process in a split second, hanging in mid-air between the water and the safety of the pier I had thoughts of "There's no turning back now" and "You are really gonna regret this."  Sure enough upon hitting the water it immediately stung my body and had a little regret.  When my head came above water I was slammed with multiple waves and caught a mouthful of water.  Luckily I was able to control the natural urge to swallow and spit out the water instead.  I just did a short 200 yards so it went pretty fast.  This swim was the first cold water swim that I wanted to not waste any time and get out as soon as possible.  Getting dressed I was warm regardless of the wind and didn't start shaking til I got in my car and headed back home.
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1 comment:

  1. JoshApril 6, 2011 at 8:40 AM

    I'm ready for the water to be 55+ again! Oh well, it was still fun!

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