I'm sure the first words out of the Dr.'s mouth when I was born weren't "It's a swimmer!", nevertheless that was life's ultimate plan for the years ahead. All growing up we spent summers in our grandma's pool and for a lot of us Gram would be our first coach. With my brother and sister along with cousins we would learn basic technique and the water became our second home. 'Reunions' were weekly if not daily. Swimming was my first love but sometimes life forces us to give up the things we love. At the age of 3 I was diagnosed with Chronic Renal Failure, more specifically Prune Belly; A kidney disease effecting 1 in 40,000. Attacking the immune system, reducing energy, and holding kidney function at 12-14% getting out of bed in the morning is nothing short of a miracle and everyday truely a blessing. When I was a Jr. in high school my swimming times began to slip and at first I didn't pay it much attention but I soon realized I was headed down a difficult road, a road that only went in one direction. Physically I didn't feel any different and for the next several weeks I wrestled with myself as I practiced. "Should I stay? Is it worth it anymore? What about the team?" Failure was knocking at my door and threatening what I loved. Without my hand on the knob the door opened and passion died. There was a moment standing waist deep in the water inbetween sets, everything slowed down and reality settled in my heart and sank to the bottom of the pool. Failure was not a choice but something I had to accept...or so I thought. For years after quiting the team I was bitter and angry, I didn't want to swim or even hear about swimming. I dont think my family understood where I was and quite frankly neither did I. Part of me died when I left and for those who have had a broken heart for whatever reason understand what I mean. Somewhere along the way my brother started to dabble in triathlons and other athletic events, soon my sister joined and before I knew it I had been sucked in as well. Emersed in a new journey, high school was in the past and another chapter in life was starting. Bitterness melted away and anger faded. "If you love something, set it free..." I don't recall who originally said this but for me this came true. I had a renewed love and a refined understanding and acceptance of the past. I moved on and gained a burning desire to rise above circumstance. Before I layed down and didn't fight, life will always find ways to knock us down but we only lose when we give up or give in. I'll push through the pain, I'll kick a little longer, I'll reach a little farther...I'll swim towards redemption

Friday, April 22, 2011

.71 Miles?...Huh?

After last weeks swim I was ready to really push myself.  I was planning on 1.5 miles and was confident I could turn in a decent time.  The weather was pretty good except for a cold breeze, and I had a feeling lurking in the back of my mind that today could be 'one of those days.'  Josh's thermometer read 58 degrees and I was anxious to get in and warm up.  There is nothing worse than when you are pumped up ready to go and you take one step off the boat ramp and your foot is numb.  Josh and I looked at each other and said "That's definitely not 58."  I re thunk my game plan and decided to just repeat last weeks swim route.  The water was already cold just walking in and the path to the island got colder.  I made it to the west side ok and was feeling better than I thought I would.  I was startled when I hit something taking a stroke, it was the bottom of the pond again.  Pretty soon my stomach and legs were dragging along the bottom, I tried putting some distance between me and the island but that didn't seem to be helping so I decided to just try and get through it as fast as I could.  I couldn't take good strokes and I couldn't kick because when I did I kicked the bottom and with numb feet it really hurt.  It was a bizarre feeling being in a foot of water and not being able to swim.  I stretched my arm out in front like a normal stroke but instead of bringing it under my body I took it out to the side and brought it in. To that I added a half dolphin kick to stay away from the bottom...I can't even imagine what a fool I looked like.  I gave up on the kick all together and drug my body on the rough terrain the rest of the way.  When I was just about to the north side I swam over a couple big boulders and caught my side on a stick.  Why didn't I just stand up and walk to the other side?  I thought about it but I didn't want to cheat.  I wanted to do a few laps around the island but I didn't want to go through that anymore so I waded til Josh came around from his second lap.  When we met up again Josh told me he wanted to swim to the south pier and from there go to the east pier and then back to the ramp.  I was happy he made the suggestion, although it was cold I wanted to go farther than last week.  When I caught up with Josh he was waving to a little boy on the pier who was dumbfounded seeing two guys swimming in the pond.  On our way to the east pier my brain was in and out of consciousness.  Things would get a little foggy, or I'd feel lost...it was un-nerving.  Luckily we were close to the end and I tried to get there as fast as I could.  When we finished we had some extra support besides our family today.  There was a lady with her family fishing and having a pic-nic cheering and clapping.  As I was stumbling out of the water she yelled over to Josh and I "I don't know you guys, but hell of a good job!"  I got my worst case of hypothermia up to this point.  Usually I don't start shaking until I am dried off and dressed, but today I was still getting to dry land when my body started to shake.  Josh brought an emergency blanket for each of us but they didn't seem to be helping so we just got dressed and went to our cars and turned up the heater.  I was really looking forward to my hot shower and left the parking lot sooner than I should have.  The whole way home I was shaking almost uncontrollably and kept thinking "I really shouldn't be driving."  I got home safe and ran inside and took a nearly 30 minute long shower until I 'snapped out of it' and felt normal again.
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2 comments:

  1. JoshApril 22, 2011 at 9:20 PM

    I didn't know that the cold was affecting you that much today. That's not good if you were having a hard time thinking, that is one of the first signs of hypothermia. If I had known I would have stayed closer to keep an eye on you or given you my SSD.

    I had barely stopped shaking just before you came to dinner...

    Even though you didn't get 1.5 like you wanted, this was still your farthest cold water swim, right?

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  2. Jake GreenApril 23, 2011 at 1:30 PM

    Ya it wasn't quite half the distance I wanted but it was too cold to go for it. The post sounds worse than it was haha

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