I'm sure the first words out of the Dr.'s mouth when I was born weren't "It's a swimmer!", nevertheless that was life's ultimate plan for the years ahead. All growing up we spent summers in our grandma's pool and for a lot of us Gram would be our first coach. With my brother and sister along with cousins we would learn basic technique and the water became our second home. 'Reunions' were weekly if not daily. Swimming was my first love but sometimes life forces us to give up the things we love. At the age of 3 I was diagnosed with Chronic Renal Failure, more specifically Prune Belly; A kidney disease effecting 1 in 40,000. Attacking the immune system, reducing energy, and holding kidney function at 12-14% getting out of bed in the morning is nothing short of a miracle and everyday truely a blessing. When I was a Jr. in high school my swimming times began to slip and at first I didn't pay it much attention but I soon realized I was headed down a difficult road, a road that only went in one direction. Physically I didn't feel any different and for the next several weeks I wrestled with myself as I practiced. "Should I stay? Is it worth it anymore? What about the team?" Failure was knocking at my door and threatening what I loved. Without my hand on the knob the door opened and passion died. There was a moment standing waist deep in the water inbetween sets, everything slowed down and reality settled in my heart and sank to the bottom of the pool. Failure was not a choice but something I had to accept...or so I thought. For years after quiting the team I was bitter and angry, I didn't want to swim or even hear about swimming. I dont think my family understood where I was and quite frankly neither did I. Part of me died when I left and for those who have had a broken heart for whatever reason understand what I mean. Somewhere along the way my brother started to dabble in triathlons and other athletic events, soon my sister joined and before I knew it I had been sucked in as well. Emersed in a new journey, high school was in the past and another chapter in life was starting. Bitterness melted away and anger faded. "If you love something, set it free..." I don't recall who originally said this but for me this came true. I had a renewed love and a refined understanding and acceptance of the past. I moved on and gained a burning desire to rise above circumstance. Before I layed down and didn't fight, life will always find ways to knock us down but we only lose when we give up or give in. I'll push through the pain, I'll kick a little longer, I'll reach a little farther...I'll swim towards redemption

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Can't be shown up by a 1 and a half year old

                                                                                                     6-16-11

   Today Josh was bringing out the paddle board he has on loan to try out at Bountiful Pond.  My parents and grandma and I met Josh and his wife and kids at 6 with no intention of getting in and swimming due to the change in weather an hour before.  And that was just with the weather in mind.  We didn't find out until we got there that the water temp was 53! All that melting snow was really having an effect.

   Josh, Sabrina, my dad, Josh's buddy that came from Sandy, and myself all tried the board and had a blast.  I'd really like to rent one on a day that the weather is better and spend a few hours on the water.

   I got on for a second go at it and headed toward the canal where the water was emptying into the pond.  Josh had just tried and got past the walkway that goes across but the current was too strong and was at a stand still after that.

  Unfortunately I was too far left where the strength of the current was at its worst and flipped over.  Never had a chance.  Falling in right at the mouth where the new water was coming in was quite a shock but I was able to recover pretty quick and toss my arms over the board and kick back to shore.

   15 minutes or so before my little nephew had taken a dive in the water, so not wanting to be out done by a one-and-a-half year old and having just fallen in myself I decided I might as well go swimming.

   I got in and did a few yards while Josh and my dad put the paddle board back on Josh's car.  The water around the ramp was actually pretty warm and going out into the open it didn't feel too bad.  When I got out I asked Josh if he was gonna get in.  He is always up for anything so he got ready and I got back in with him.  Again the water getting in felt good but this time it seemed to be a little more chilly when we got out in the open.

   I didn't bring my GPS because I wasn't planning on swimming so I'm not sure how far I went total but I would guess between 35-50 yards.  I had a great time tonight and after doing a couple short cold water swims I remembered how fun it is and a part of me misses that.

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