I'm sure the first words out of the Dr.'s mouth when I was born weren't "It's a swimmer!", nevertheless that was life's ultimate plan for the years ahead. All growing up we spent summers in our grandma's pool and for a lot of us Gram would be our first coach. With my brother and sister along with cousins we would learn basic technique and the water became our second home. 'Reunions' were weekly if not daily. Swimming was my first love but sometimes life forces us to give up the things we love. At the age of 3 I was diagnosed with Chronic Renal Failure, more specifically Prune Belly; A kidney disease effecting 1 in 40,000. Attacking the immune system, reducing energy, and holding kidney function at 12-14% getting out of bed in the morning is nothing short of a miracle and everyday truely a blessing. When I was a Jr. in high school my swimming times began to slip and at first I didn't pay it much attention but I soon realized I was headed down a difficult road, a road that only went in one direction. Physically I didn't feel any different and for the next several weeks I wrestled with myself as I practiced. "Should I stay? Is it worth it anymore? What about the team?" Failure was knocking at my door and threatening what I loved. Without my hand on the knob the door opened and passion died. There was a moment standing waist deep in the water inbetween sets, everything slowed down and reality settled in my heart and sank to the bottom of the pool. Failure was not a choice but something I had to accept...or so I thought. For years after quiting the team I was bitter and angry, I didn't want to swim or even hear about swimming. I dont think my family understood where I was and quite frankly neither did I. Part of me died when I left and for those who have had a broken heart for whatever reason understand what I mean. Somewhere along the way my brother started to dabble in triathlons and other athletic events, soon my sister joined and before I knew it I had been sucked in as well. Emersed in a new journey, high school was in the past and another chapter in life was starting. Bitterness melted away and anger faded. "If you love something, set it free..." I don't recall who originally said this but for me this came true. I had a renewed love and a refined understanding and acceptance of the past. I moved on and gained a burning desire to rise above circumstance. Before I layed down and didn't fight, life will always find ways to knock us down but we only lose when we give up or give in. I'll push through the pain, I'll kick a little longer, I'll reach a little farther...I'll swim towards redemption

Thursday, March 3, 2011

1:33/258'

3-3-11


I already posted about this swim yesturday but now that my ego is back in check and my little tantrum is over i'm going to revise it.  I arrived at the pond after Gordons son Jake had just dried off from jumping in.  My dad and I were a few steps away from the east pier when there was a splash.  Looking out towards the water we saw Gordon had dove in and was on his way to the boat ramp which he measured before hand to be just over 200 yards.  For a lot of people that distance wouldn't even be a warm up, but when you add cold water to it it becomes a whole different monster.  The water was 45 degrees, 4 degrees warmer than the previous week.  A few strokes away from the finish Gordon had slowed down, not from lack of strength but due to the effects of the cold water.  With no further effects he made it triumphantly to the end.  Josh was up next and was gonna attempt the same course.  As soon as he entered the water Josh began to sprint towards the goal.  Again not a long distance but over 4 times what any of us had done the week before.  Walking along the trail percieving the water had no effect on his perfect stroke and was able to keep it as smooth as ever.  I thought I had noticed him drift a little farther from shore and after he reached the ramp and told us the distance my perception was comfirmed.  211 yards.  Soon it was my turn.  I was struggling with what I was comfortable in trying to accomplish, this being only the second week swimming.  My goal all week was 100 yards which would've been a little more than double last weeks achievement.  After watching both Gordon and Josh complete the 200+ yards with relative ease I had more confidence that I could make it as well.  When we got back to the pier the small doubt that still lingered got the best of me and I decided to just be safe and go with my original goal.  The ladder was lowered and after a graceful belly flop I was off.  While swimming away from the group I looked over my shoulder to see how far I had gone and without any idea of the distance I decided to keep going.  One thing I regretted about the first swim was not taking the time to really feel the water.  Keeping this in mind I took a few more strokes, stopped and wadded in the pond feeling how the water felt around me.  Showing my pleasure and enjoyment in the water (and since I wasn't moving, to let them know I was OK) I raised both arms out of the water and gave the group at the pier two thumbs up and started back.  A few strokes within the finish I thought about showing off and doing fly to the end but to be honest I didn't think my muscles had the mobility to pull it off.  Every swim I slip farther into the intoxicating lullaby of the cold water and leave yearning and needing more.


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1 comment:

  1. JoshMarch 3, 2011 at 9:49 PM

    Don't get down on yourself for not going further and be happy that you went twice as far as last time!

    Next time you should use Google Maps to measure the distance to some point, then you will know when you have gone far enough.

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