I'm sure the first words out of the Dr.'s mouth when I was born weren't "It's a swimmer!", nevertheless that was life's ultimate plan for the years ahead. All growing up we spent summers in our grandma's pool and for a lot of us Gram would be our first coach. With my brother and sister along with cousins we would learn basic technique and the water became our second home. 'Reunions' were weekly if not daily. Swimming was my first love but sometimes life forces us to give up the things we love. At the age of 3 I was diagnosed with Chronic Renal Failure, more specifically Prune Belly; A kidney disease effecting 1 in 40,000. Attacking the immune system, reducing energy, and holding kidney function at 12-14% getting out of bed in the morning is nothing short of a miracle and everyday truely a blessing. When I was a Jr. in high school my swimming times began to slip and at first I didn't pay it much attention but I soon realized I was headed down a difficult road, a road that only went in one direction. Physically I didn't feel any different and for the next several weeks I wrestled with myself as I practiced. "Should I stay? Is it worth it anymore? What about the team?" Failure was knocking at my door and threatening what I loved. Without my hand on the knob the door opened and passion died. There was a moment standing waist deep in the water inbetween sets, everything slowed down and reality settled in my heart and sank to the bottom of the pool. Failure was not a choice but something I had to accept...or so I thought. For years after quiting the team I was bitter and angry, I didn't want to swim or even hear about swimming. I dont think my family understood where I was and quite frankly neither did I. Part of me died when I left and for those who have had a broken heart for whatever reason understand what I mean. Somewhere along the way my brother started to dabble in triathlons and other athletic events, soon my sister joined and before I knew it I had been sucked in as well. Emersed in a new journey, high school was in the past and another chapter in life was starting. Bitterness melted away and anger faded. "If you love something, set it free..." I don't recall who originally said this but for me this came true. I had a renewed love and a refined understanding and acceptance of the past. I moved on and gained a burning desire to rise above circumstance. Before I layed down and didn't fight, life will always find ways to knock us down but we only lose when we give up or give in. I'll push through the pain, I'll kick a little longer, I'll reach a little farther...I'll swim towards redemption

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Like the sweatshirt says: "Grin and bear it"

                                                                                                    10-25-11

     It's easy to talk a big game when the water temp is still in the 60's, but when it dips below and the outside temp is 50...well the tune has a different chorus.

     Luckily I have an awesome brother that made time to come out a couple days early so I didn't miss out on a swim this week.  We met at Bountiful Lake around 5:30 and stepping out of our cars we instantly knew it was gonna be a cold swim.

     After setting up our gear on the east pier we were already getting kinda chilly just standing there so we did a few laps around the area to generate some heat and warm up.  We headed back to look at the thermometer that Josh had put in the water a few minutes before to see what we'd be up against this week.  Josh looked up at me and all he said was: "We are dead."  Encouraging right?

     This is what we've been waiting for, the temp to drop below 60 and bring on the cold, and with a reading of 57 we got our wish tonight.  After having done this at the end of this past winter we knew how that would feel and contemplated the course to take.  We decided on just a short swim out to the South pier and back to the East.  Josh dove in and after a few strokes I jumped in after him.  Like always there was the initial shock to the body and some tingling on the skin but really didn't feel too bad.

     When I caught up with Josh we both quickly said we felt good and wanted to keep going.  From the South pier we headed toward the island and then made our way back to the East pier where we started. I thought that for sure today I wouldn't be able to keep my head in the water but to my great surprise I was able to.  The only thing that bothered me was after awhile my muscles got tight and I felt like I really had to use a lot of effort to make any distance.

     In Lynne Cox's new book Josh told me about how she talks about going for a little jog after one of her freezing swims and said that it really helped in warming her up.  So when we pulled ourselves out of the water and got dressed we did a quick jog and I gotta admit even with the short distance today of 1/4 mile I could tell a difference with adding the jog and think I will continue that.

     It was another great swim and I am so excited that it's getting colder and look forward to seeing what I can do this year!

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